Merrily We Fall, Out of Line, Out of Line.

Who am I? 

Where do I fit in?

How am I going to spend this last bittersweet year of high school?

If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few months, it’s that life goes by faster than you could ever imagine. So why waste these last moments worrying about how others view me? I don’t want to be enchained to my own mind, worrying constantly about choices I’m making and things I do.

God has blessed me with great friends this past year, old and new. And they all like me for “me”, not someone I’m trying to be. So I’m gonna live this life to the fullest with them. I’m gonna invest and have fun. And it’s gonna be great. 

Yesterday was seriously one of the best days I’ve had in a while. Erika called me around five asking if I wanted to go to the lax game and we ended up having this huge adventurous afternoon. We ended up taking a detour before the game through all the country roads in Apex and marveling in the vast beauty of God’s simple creation. Thoughts were shared and summer plans were made. We made it to the game with only about ten minutes left on the clock but still had a great time talking with the lax moms and getting lied to by the opposing team. Afterwards we spontaneously drove around the country roads yet again with our beloved Chick-fil-a milkshakes. With them in hand, we stopped to pet an absolutely beautiful horse, who’s face was bigger than our entire person. (Exaggerating a little, of course.) And to top it all off, we witnessed the most gorgeous sunset on our way home. So beautiful, in fact, that we stopped the car and ran through the busy road to take a picture of its vast beauty. 

I felt like yesterday afternoon was just a small preview of what this summer is going to be like. No worries, just going where the wind takes us, and enjoying every minute of it. I’m trying to appreciate the small things and see what God has in store for me when I let Him take control. 

so fucking tired of feeling worthless.